


here (but no further)

by Synchrony



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Fear, Gen, Lingering sadness, Loss, Remembrance, apprehension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 19:12:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1560998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synchrony/pseuds/Synchrony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I want to see mountains again, Gandalf—<i>mountains</i>." </p>
<p>He does mean to travel on eastwards— honestly he does. But the days turn into weeks, and into months, until four whole seasons have turned and he is still in Rivendell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	here (but no further)

**Author's Note:**

> A short look at Bilbo's thoughts as he lingers in Rivendell.
> 
> The quote in the summary is taken from _The Fellowship of the Ring_ when Bilbo is explaining to Gandalf why he's leaving.

He does mean to travel on eastwards— honestly he does. But the days turn into weeks, and into months, until four whole seasons have turned and he is still in Rivendell.

It’s then that he officially makes the decision not to venture further. He speaks of weary old bones— for he feels them now, somehow, as he never did before— and of all those empty pages in his book still waiting to be filled. He thinks that they believe him. At least, they smile and nod and tell him he is, of course, always welcome.

It’s only when he finds himself on the same bench every evening, face turned eastwards as he smokes one last pipe and thinks. Somewhere, far past forests and mountains, lies Erebor; and somewhere, deep in its depths, lies the King and his nephews.

He just can’t do it. He knows that now. To see those effigies would be to know that all that remains of his friends are bare bones, as cold and lifeless as the stone likenesses above them. No more of Thorin’s steely determination. No more of Fili’s boundless energy and Kili’s endless enthusiasm. No more breath. No more life.

He can’t do it. So instead he stays where he is, and tips his pipe to the friends that surely can’t be so far away now.

And if the others do know, they leave him be and do not say.

**Author's Note:**

> In the films, it's suggested that age catches up quickly with Bilbo and he never goes any further than Rivendell, whereas in the book he tells Frodo he went to Dale and then returned. I thought it was kind of interesting that it never mentions him specifically going to Erebor.
> 
> You can also follow me on [tumblr](http://synchronyshatttered.tumblr.com/) for more ramblings.


End file.
